Being a father is an important role, and sometimes you have more than one. My fathers? There are three of them.
When you think back to your father, you most likely have strong feelings. One way or the other. Our fathers set huge examples in our lives. Sometimes it is what not to do. Sometimes it is looked back on fondly.
The memories your father, or fathers, leave will last your whole life. Now it is your turn to do that for your children.
Our fathers come in all shapes, sizes, and personalities. I’ll tell you a little more about mine.
My fathers are drastically different. The three of them have nothing in common. Not even a little. You couldn’t find three more different men.
My Fathers – Dad 1 – Danny
My biological father, Danny, is very nature oriented. His passions are the outdoors, and photography. When you look at his social media it is full of what most would call “hippy stuff”. Animal rights, environmental impacts, food, and resources.
His photography is amazing and he is very talented. You can see some of it here, if you want to take a look. It is almost all nature oriented, but it is most certainly worth looking at.
Danny’s most important lesson is the way he lives, minimal. He is happy just flying solo out in the woods. That is his refuge away from everything else. And he seems happy to be out there. I am sure he would like some company from time to time, but I bet the extra noise would wear on him, and the solitude is what he seeks out there. If it is not solitude, it is definitely not the company humans offer.
He can probably talk to snakes, or birds, and will tell me about it some day. I’ll be pissed at him though, for waiting so long.
I don’t see him much because we live so far away from each other, and well, life and all. I look exactly like him.
My Fathers – Dad 2 – Thomas
My second father was my grandfather, Thomas. Due to the fact that my mother and father divorced when I was four, and worked all the time, my grand parents started keeping me. It turned out to be permanent and they ended up raising me for the most part. Oddly enough my grandfather and I had a better relationship when I was an adult, than when I was a child. I think he resented me being there after all his other kids were grown and moved out. I understand. That sucked a little bit, I’m sure.
Thomas was a firm man, very full of pride, and way over the top obsessive compulsive. I mean, he went through some label ribbon, OCD. It was pretty awful as a kid, but the lessons he taught me really assisted me in being an adult. I’m definitely not OCD though lol. He was a – my way is the right way, type of guy. And now that I am a adult, I agree, his ways were almost always the right way!
He went to the Citadel, and retired as an Army Pilot. One of my favorite possessions is a memoir he wrote about his time fly single engine planes over the Andes in South America.
He did everything right, even if it was a pain in everyone else’s butt most of the time. It is like that sometimes when you want to do things right the first time, and everyone else is looking for the easy way to do it.
He committed suicide a few years back after his health took him to a place where his pride got the best of him. And too be honest, I really was not all that surprised when it happened. I was deeply saddened, but more for my grandmother. I knew he didn’t want to live with others taking care of him.
My Fathers – Dad 3 – Henry
My step dad came into my life when I was around 13, and to this day, is my best friend. He is still happily married to my mom after all these years, and we have a lot of joint stuff going on. I plan on living near them for the rest of my life.
He is super mechanically inclined and is the handiest guy I know. From cars to electrical to plumbing, he can do it all. He is just built that way, and has to know how everything works. And if he doesn’t, he has too.
Henry is a hard working, no complaining kind of guy. Henry works until the job is done, which a lesson I desperately needed. And still do sometimes. He is a total man’s man, and pretty much upholds all the cliche’s that go along with that.
He has taught me more lessons than I can count. Probably way more than he even knows, or me for that matter. Henry is smart, and hardly ever lets things get him worked up, and would give you the shirt off his back. He doesn’t have a selfish bone in his body. Which is awesome for my mom, because she always wants to please everyone. I have never once seen him take advantage of that. I don’t expect I ever will. Which is why he is the most trustworthy person I know.
I have learned a great deal from each of my fathers. But the greatest lesson is how you can learn from anyone, if you look for truth. None of these men are perfect, as I am not either, but the combinations of lessons I have been privy too has helped me be a better man than I would have without them.
Sometimes, you have to take pieces from different people to form one skill or lesson that you can use. I have been fortunate enough to have my fathers be so different that I was able to easily take different pieces from each of them.
This post doesn’t have many tips, or advice, for parenting out side of that one aspect. Find the truth that everyone offers. You can learn from everyone if you keep an open mind, and work to take the pieces that you can use. Not in a selfish way, but in a way that makes you more beneficial to those around you. Especially your own family.
Thanks for reading this post. If you love your dad too, think about grabbing him a cool shirt. Fathers day isn’t that far off, and dads love to show off how cool they are with their special dad shirts!